Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. "Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty."
2. "Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years."
3. "Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened."
4. "Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative."
5. "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
6. "Age is a number and mine is unlisted."
7. "A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for."
8. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
9. "Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."
10. "As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
11. "Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once."
12. "When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off."
13. "The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
14. "Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
15. "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
16. "You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
17. "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age."
18. "Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
19. "A woman has the age she deserves."
20. "Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough."
21. "Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
22. "Men grow old, pearls grow yellow, there is no cure for it."
23. "Life is one long process of getting tired."
24. "Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own."
25. "Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed."
26. "When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
27. "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."
28. "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
29. "Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age"
30. "I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius."